Sea of Love: Thoughts on "Shipping"

About a year ago now, I finally figured out the pop culture term "shipping." I know, I'm a slow study. Turns out, I've been "shipping" for years without realizing it.

Shipper (via Urban Dictionary)
relationshipper; One who believes there is, was, should, and could be a relationship between two characters in a certain fandom.

That's the bare bones definition. My own experience? I've found that shipping is a lot like being in love itself -- it mostly makes you sick, with brief pockets of delirious happiness, and at least half the time you can't stand the way things turned out.

Not to mention that:

• You can't force a ship -- either there's chemistry there, or there's not.
• A particularly intense ship can cause you to do things you wouldn't normally do (like write fan fiction or register at a fan forum).
• Getting back together with a former ship can sometimes make things better... and sometimes worse.
• Finding a new ship can often help you get over an old one.
• Sometimes it takes years to discover your next big ship.
• You can be fairly judgmental of shipping until it happens to you.

My first ship? Easily Scarlett and Rhett from Gone with the Wind, one of the most iconic ships of the 20th century. The not-so-secret success -- both the saving grace and agony -- of this particular ship? It's a cliffhanger. It's open-ended, which I've found to be a key factor in not losing my mind while shipping. Problem is, Hollywood doesn't usually agree. Fairy tale endings abound, which tend to drive me crazy even when I'm fortunate enough to champion a couple that actually ends up together.

One way of getting around this problem, I've found, is shipping within daytime soaps -- these are the least insane and most enjoyable ships in the long run, at least for me. The good and bad news about shipping in the soaps world is the temporary nature of most relationships -- there's almost always the possibility of a change in circumstance, of both reconciliation and disaster (and sometimes in whiplash-inducing succession). This can have the effect of making all right with the world, but it can also leave a sour, garbage-like taste in the mouth. On the other hand, hope almost always remains that things can eventually go your way once again.

A final point about shipping. It's easy to be scornful of it (and judgmental of those who engage in it) -- until it happens to you. But when that fever hits you, you're done -- there's no point fighting it. Or in feeling guilty. Right? Just say no shame, sit back, and enjoy. Honestly, I'm telling you, it makes life a lot easier.

So, here are mine. These are an elite group, all from TV, and either instant obsessions or enduring soaps favorites.

Kevin/Scotty from Brothers & Sisters
Status: ongoing, currently together
Favorite clips: Lobster scene (2.08), Car scene (2.11), Proposal scene (2.15).
These two captured a special place in my heart early in season 1, back when Scotty was showing up at the Walker manse with red velvet cupcakes. In what seemed to be fated timing, they got committed on the season 2 finale about a week prior to same-sex marriage becoming legal in California. But then the train wreck called Prop 8 happened, which sort of tainted, well, everything. But, still, I don't care. They're married. End of story.

Carrie/Aidan from Sex and the City
Status: divided forever
Favorite clips: The Proposal (4.12), Fight scene (4.13).
This ship was driven largely by my fondness for John Corbett (dating back to "Chris in the Morning," of course, from Northern Exposure), but there was something about Carrie and Aidan together that I really loved. They had an authenticity and a great comedic flavor (sort of a theme with my ships). And that loveseat he made, where the flaw in the wood was also its strength? Pure swoon.

Felicity/Noel from Felicity
Status: divided forever
Favorite clips: Boggled First Kiss (1.04), Thanksgiving Bathroom Make-Out (1.09), Noel's Library Freak-Out (1.10).
Probably my favorite, most obsessive, and ultimately most painful ship. These two had best friendship, amazing chemistry, and a screwball comedy dynamic I absolutely adored. But not only did they not end up together, the series finale somehow managed to divide them, spectacularly, through both marriage and death. Oh my god, kill me now. The name of this ship is the Sweet Torture.

Brooke/Ridge from The Bold & the Beautiful
Status: ongoing, recently together but currently divided
Favorite clips: Reminiscing (01-18-08).
My first soaps ship, dating back to the late 80s, Brooke and Ridge are so iconic as a supercouple that it almost doesn't matter if they're actually together on any given day or not. They just are.

Nick/Sharon from The Young & the Restless
Status: ongoing, recently together but currently divided
Favorite clips: Paris scenes (11-11-08).
Nick and Sharon got together as teenagers during my own teen years, so their love story pretty much has undeniable supercouple status for me. And who could forget the tragedy of their daughter Cassie getting killed in a car accident and the gut-wrenching aftermath of Nick turning to Phyllis? Just, sob.

Luke/Noah from As the World Turns
Status: ongoing, currently together
Favorite clips: The Kiss (08-17-07), The Deed (01-12-09).
Nuke is simply adorable. And although it took forever for CBS to allow them to show much physical affection, the wait was totally worth it. They've recently moved in together and are just the cutest. thing. ever.

Gwen/Will from As the World Turns
Status: written off, together in the end
Favorite clips: Retrospective (various).
Though no longer on ATWT, I still love Willen. They were sweet, sometimes contentious, and originally interested in other people. If they ever brought this couple back, the show, which tends to struggle in the ratings, would definitely be better off, in my opinion.

Notable others: McKitty from Brothers & Sisters, Callie/Hahn from Grey's Anatomy, Miranda/Steve from Sex and the City, Jim/Pam from The Office, Joey/Pacey from Dawson's Creek, Kelly/Brandon from 90210, Billy/Mac from Y&R, Daniel/Amber from Y&R, Katherine/Murphy from Y&R, and Nick/Bridget from B&B.

Who are yours?